SakurabaxKiryu
by Fyreborne
Summary: A JoshuaxNeku story. Months after Shibuya's restoration, a certain ex-game partner is still hovering around, at the same moment, Neku is dejected by the romantic pairing of his other two partners. Massive spoilers, beware. M for eventual content.
1. Chapter 1

uSakurabaxKiyru: Part One/u

He collapsed against the wall and leant his head back against the brightly coloured graffiti, sighing and closing his eyes. For once, it was not the CAT graffiti of the Udagawa backstreets on which Neku was leaning. Instead, he was in the grey, dimly lit station underpass. It was a safer bet to run here; Udagawa would have to have meant running straight past them, and he was also far too likely to end up in the company of someone whose sarcasm and theatrics he could do without right now.

Images of what he had seen invaded the privacy of his mind, and he hit his head on his knees, trying to make them stop. How could this happen? He thought they were on the brink of something. Okay, maybe he hadn't tried his best to keep her, but-

"Hh-hm"

CRAP. That bloody giggle meant only one bloody thing.

"I know you're here." he said in a fierce tone.

"Ooh, aren't we the sharp one today, Neku?" Neku heard the reply moments before the Composer materialized beside him. "The last few times I've come to see you, you jumped out of your skin when I appeared."

"Yes, well, it didn't help that you giggled right by my ear." He scowled, still looking down at his knees.

"Really? Silly me…"

"Look, go away, Joshua."

Joshua smiled, but before he had a chance to reply, Neku continued.

"What are you doing here, anyway? I thought the only place you UG-stalked me was Udagawa?"

Joshua shook his hair from his eyes. "Oh, Neku, I don't spend my life wandering aimlessly around the Udagawa back streets, waiting for you to turn up when you're down. I have more important things to do than that."

Neku's first thought was to tell him to go do them, though he was too annoyed answer out loud.

"Neku, something up?"

Again, no reply. He smirked.

"Are you mad at me again?"

Neku exploded. "Again? I still haven't forgiven you, Joshua! I still have reason to be mad at you; I just try and get over it so that I don't have to kill you!"

"Oh Neku, I think we learned from our final game that you don't have it in you"

"Now you're just pushing it, Josh"

Joshua raised one eyebrow "And yet you haven't walked away. Because once again, the real problem on your mind is nothing to do with me or my misdemeanors. And once again, you've come to me, because I will eventually talk you through it and fix eeeeeverything"

"I didn't come to you, you arrogant dick, you turned up uninvited!" yelled Neku, although his voice faltered. Despite the fact that Joshua's appearance every few weeks was a nuisance, it did usually coincide with Neku's most worried times. And although he was usually adamant at taking the advice Joshua gave him (particularly as this advice was usually given in a cynical, 'I'm-stating-the-obvious' tone), talking to someone about it did seem to make him feel a bit better. That was why he couldn't quite shut Josh out. He had to try and distinguish between the Composer who, just a few months ago had killed Neku for the second (and, Neku hoped, final) time, and the friend Joshua had been, both in the game and in the weeks following Neku's return to the RG. Neku hated to admit that Joshua was… somewhat useful.

"Penny drop, Neku?"

"Stop pretending that you know what I'm thinking" replied Neku flatly, as his mind returned to the problem in hand.

"Oh but I do, Neku… perhaps not in a psychic kind of way, but in the subtle detail of your priceless facial expressions…" mused Joshua, still smirking. He had to make every sentence drip with cynicism and smugness, the little bastard…

He continued on "And today, Neku, I sense that the problem in hand is, once again, involving Miss. Shiki Misaki? Correct"

How'd he… Neku just nodded, and Joshua sighed. He then raised a hand to his chin, musing upon what Neku had confirmed. To Neku, his silence seemed to last an eternity. Why wasn't Joshua saying anything? Wait… did he want him to? He didn't care… dependence on others wasn't worth it. After today, he was once again untrustworthy of people in general. The more you let them in, the more you can get hurt. Nonetheless, he was still expecting some kind on quip from the musing Composer beside him. Why wasn't he-

"Explain." said Joshua. "Don't tell me you're still unsure of your feelings about her. You've been going on about this for weeks… I thought I'd finally got out of that loop. Like I said, after only one week with her, she became what you value most! That has to mean something!" Joshua sounded annoyed, like he was tired of constantly dealing with this.

"Yeh… after you said that I thought I should just face the facts… but then I got thinking" he was internally fuming at Joshua for talking like he was an idiot, when clearly it was Joshua who wasn't registering all the facts. "Value and love are two very different things. How do I know? They took Shiki as my entry fee for the second week. Because she helped me. Because she was all I had in the UG. That's why I valued her. But after the second week, after you had helped me despite annoying the hell out of me… that's what showed me she wasn't the only one. That's why they took all the players. All I needed was… anyone…" he sighed. "I like Shiki. I care about her. Just… maybe not in the right way…" he paused, and then the thought of what he had seen sprang back into his mind. "No… that's a lie."

Josh cocked his head inquisitively, waiting for Neku to do what he always did… end up in an inevitable loop. Instead, he said something slightly different to normal.

"I do like her. But… I don't want to be with her… not in the way I've heard about love… I was worried she liked me more than I like her. But I still don't want her to be…argh!" He stood up. Now what? Did he expect to run?

"Where are you going to run to, Neku? You can't run from reality."

It still always startled Neku when Joshua did that. It got on his nerves too. Was he really that predictable, or was Joshua gifted with some power to see his thoughts? Given Joshua's apparent power over Shibuya, he wouldn't be surprised. Neku sighed, and instead of leaving, he leant back against the wall. Joshua clambered up to join him. Neku always noticed that despite the fact that Joshua had skill and poise when fighting, he remained inherently awkward in making ordinary human movements. He pushed his hair from his eyes and spoke again.

"Just tell me, Neku." He crossed his arms "Whatever it is, you can trust me." He smirked and then giggled "Hh-Hm…Is Shiki getting it on with Eri or something?"

"NO, SHIKI IS NOT GETTING IT ON WITH ERI." Neku's anger wavered. "I…" he sighed and hesitated. Joshua would find out anyway. "I saw her with Beat. They were… well… I could tell something was going on."

"Sure?"

"Definitely."

Neku had not seen Joshua particularly surprised before… he always liked to pretend he already knew whatever anyone told him.

"I… I didn't expect that…"

Was that all? Neku exhaled angrily, and turned around. He banged his head against the wall a couple of times before Joshua grabbed his shoulder.

"Stop it, Neku." He grabbed Neku's upper arms and held him so that they were facing each other. "You weren't even sure about her, remember? If you really-"Neku turned away and Joshua shook him slightly "Neku, look at me!" If you really liked her, then why did I have to listen to you constantly drone about her every time we met after the game? On and on and on… is there a spark, am I being too nice, does she like me back…" he trailed off and waved his hand in an 'etc. etc.' way.

Neku looked straight back at him, and spoke, a passive-aggressive note to his quiet words.

"I'm sorry, Joshua. I thought that maybe you didn't mind listening to me. That maybe your help was an apology for me, to make up for all the shit you put me through, because God knows you've never apologized verbally! Or that maybe, just maybe, you were listening to me because you were my friend?"

He slid back down the wall, unable to make out why his eyes were stinging with tears. All he knew is that friends listen and don't care if you moan. Joshua wasn't a friend at all. He hid behind his fringe as Joshua sat back beside him.

"I did listen Neku. It's just tiring to watch you go in circles. So let me stop being the understanding friend and just tell it to you straight. Love is not one huge heart-shaped thing that bathes you in a soft pink glow. It's a subtle combination of things that link you to one person. There's the physical attraction. There's the care for the actual person and their happiness. But there's something else, which you seem to be missing when you talk about Shiki. That is the depth of knowledge about the person. From their character traits to their past. You can never tell me whether you love her; because you don't know each other enough to get that close. Three things. You need them all."

Neku listened, and knew Joshua was right. In fact, all he could feel was the 'care for the actual person' bit. The want for her to be OK and not get hurt. Its not like he spent their time together wanting to kiss her. Now all he could feel was self-loathing.

"I'm not sure, Josh. I try my best to let someone in and all I get is pain and anger."

"But did you really, Neku?"

"What?" Neku was confused.

"Did you let her in, Neku? Or did you wander round, having her as a friend and trying to give her subtle signs that you liked her, but never actually getting close to her?"

Neku said nothing, but he felt warm fingertips over his hand, which was lying on the ground. His first instinct was that Joshua was about to hold his hand. No, of course not. Joshua simply gave the hand a reassuring stroke, crossed his arms and then spoke arrogantly again.

"Struck a chord?"

"Shut up, Joshua." He felt suddenly annoyed at Joshua's words, especially as he had forgotten what Joshua had said prior to that. He had to rewind his mind past the hand… oh yes, Joshua had revealed that Neku hadn't really let Shiki in at all. And he was right. But…

"But I tried my best, Joshua… I…" he sighed "Maybe I just can't do this… I can't get close to anyone… because they're not like me… I've never found anyone I get on with enough to do that…" he sounded slightly annoyed

"Really?" Josh raised one eyebrow again.

"Yes. So… no one will ever love me… I can't be loved."

"Neku… that's not… you just have to open your eyes and-"

"I can't confide in anyone, Josh." He grew angry at himself again. "Who the hell will I ever get close to? I could try my best but…no one will ever want to listen." He stood, pulled his headphones down to block out the sound, and angrily stuffed his hands into his pockets. He was about to walk away, when Joshua darted in front of him.

Joshua looked hard at Neku. His eyes flickered as if he were searching for something. Annoyed, Neku folded his arms and stared back, head on one side slightly.

"What?" he asked impatiently.

Joshua sighed as if a part of him had given in. And suddenly Neku felt himself being pulled with a strength Joshua hadn't used on him before, and without warning, Joshua softly kissed Neku on the mouth. They remained, lips gently touching, for only a few seconds. Was it the shock sending tingles down Neku's spine… or something else? Joshua stepped back sooner than Neku expected, but then had to reach out an arm again to stop Neku from wavering on the spot. Neku spluttered. Joshua looked down to hide his face under his hair. Was he blushing? Neku was still registering the kiss. He had never been kissed before… and it felt… he tried to kick his rational brain into gear. That's just what kissing feels like. It felt good… because… because Joshua was an angel. No more. Or… He looked Joshua in the eye and his chest burned. Did that mean…

"I'm sorry." Joshua swallowed. "But… you can be loved, you know."

He was silent for a moment more, then moved back a couple of steps.

Neku saw the glow… that meant… Joshua was going back to the higher plane… "No!"

Neku blushed. In his haste to stop the Composer from leaving, he had reached not for Joshua's wrist but for his hand.

"You can't just…" he trailed off.

"You looked…."Joshua was still hiding behind his hair, and talking uncharacteristically quietly. "I thought you wanted me to go."

Neku was all tangled up in his mind. The only thoughts he could manage to come out with were "But you're… you're the Composer."

Joshua nodded.

"But… I didn't think you could feel… anything like that…"

Joshua smiled, although he still looked strangely worried.

"Angel or no angel… I'm right here in front of you Neku. My body is living, and human… I have emotions… and… you're…" he tried to compose himself and go back to his matter-of-fact tone. "It's completely justified for me to feel this way."

Neku realized that they were still holding hands. His cheeks burned and he pulled his hand away, embarrassed.

Joshua looked down as his hand fell back down to his side. He sighed and when he spoke, his voice was frail again. "Did I screw up our friendship Neku?" Joshua was searching for any sign in Neku's expression. Meanwhile, Neku was trying to convey as little emotion is he could.

"Neku?"

Neku finally said something.

"You use my name a lot."

Joshua giggled a little.

"Hh-hm… I like it."

That giggle wasn't quite so annoying right now. It was almost cute… Argh. Joshua had manipulated him with that angel kiss, he knew it. But then again… when he thought about Joshua's personality… their conversations… Argh bad brain. Everything was so messed up, and it was Joshua's fault. He was in the same place he had been with Shiki, all over again.

"Everything's changed." He said, without realizing he was thinking aloud.

Joshua suddenly sounded panicky "We can be the same, Neku, I swear… I… we can pretend it never happened and…"

"No." Neku said forcefully and folded his arms. Joshua looked down and shook his hair to cover his face again. Was he… crying? "Not everything can be the same, Josh.

"Really?" his eyes peered from the hair in despair.

Neku said nothing, but he moved his face closer to Joshua's to try and get him to look up. Joshua blinked back the tears and swallowed, then looked up at Neku. Their faces were milimetres apart.

"It can't be the same." Neku said.

And he gently kissed Joshua, sliding his hands up his face and reaching up into his soft silver hair. Stunned, Joshua wrapped his arms around Neku's waist, and kissed him back, with much more passion than he had the first time. Joshua slid his lips away and ran kisses down Neku's face and neck, running his tongue back up to his ear.

"You're a tricky one, Sakuraba."

He leaned back a little, slipping his hands into Neku's back pockets. Neku noticed that Josh's smile and smug expression had returned, although his eyes were still a little wet and red.

"You can talk." scoffed Neku… but he couldn't hide his smile.

"Hmm… three things…"

"Hh-Hm"

Neku lowered his brows. "What?"

"Predictable…"

Neku gave him a look.

"I know how to shut you up now." He went to kiss Joshua, but Josh instead laid a finger onto Neku's lips

"C'mon" Joshua grabbed Neku's hand "Let's find somewhere a little more private…"

"This is private" commented Neku, standing his ground.

"Ok, smartass, lets find somewhere which isn't a sewer."

"Fair enough… where?"

Joshua held his hand tighter and began pulling him into a run

"Follow my lead"

Neku laughed loudly.

"Screw that…"


	2. Chapter 2

uSakurabaxKiyru: Part Two/u

Joshua gently pushed Neku onto the glass-topped pool table and leaned over him, continuing to kiss him, their tongues touching and sending firecrackers down their bodies. Joshua kicked off his shoes and socks and Neku followed suit. Every sensation was intense with passion; running their hands all over each other, their skin growing hotter and begging to be released from its clothing, their bulging crotches rubbing against each other, denim on cargoes until each felt like they would burst out of their own skin, unable to bear the amazing feeling. Joshua looked Neku in the eyes with a look of uncontrollable desire, and leant towards his ear.

"Neku…" Joshua whispered "Ugh, I've wanted you so long"

Neku leaned his head back and moaned as Joshua ran a hand up his thigh, the whisper sending shivers down his spine.

Joshua leant up on his elbows, still staring intensely into Neku's eyes.

"I warn you, gorgeous" he tapped Neku on the nose and ran his finger down to his lips. "During the course of our activities today, you may lose your headphones."

Neku threw his phones and mp3 on the floor, and went back to French-kissing Joshua. He had never felt such intense desire before. He didn't resist as Joshua began to pull his top over his head, instead he returned the favour, undoing the buttons on Joshua's shirt, frantic with excitement. He felt the cold glass on his back and remembered something.

"Didn't you say you had a bedroom tucked away somewhere here?"

Joshua shrugged. "Yes" he bit Neku's neck fairly hard and Neku felt a mixture of pain and pleasure. Joshua kissed the bitten spot better and whispered to Neku again "But I got you this far… and I realized I had to have you, right here, right now." He pulled Neku back up again, encouraged him to turn around. He ran his hands up and down Neku's naked upper body, kissing his neck and back, then pulled him close and bent him over the table, still leaning against him. He pushed hard against Neku.

"How's that feel, Neku?" asked Josh, ferociously. "Do you like feeling my hard cock against your ass?"

Neku moaned again, feeling his trouser button being undone, and Joshua's hot breath against his neck. He couldn't help but let what he was thinking slip out of his mind "Are you going to…" He trailed off as his cargoes were pulled down by his cargoes were pulled down by Joshua. Neku blushed a little.

"Am I going to what, Neku?" Joshua smiled, pulled Neku back up and stepped back. Neku turned to see Joshua undoing the final button of his shirt and slipping it off his thin shoulders. Joshua smiled at him.

It was hard for Neku to concentrate when a beautiful, sexy, silver-haired god-boy was standing in front of him in nothing but a pair of dark, flared jeans, looking at Neku like he wanted to do all sorts of devious things to him.

"What were you asking, Neku?" Oh, how Joshua loved to tease, pulling Neku towards the couch. "I feel you should tell me… " he folded his arms. "What was it you wanted to know?"

Neku tried to swallow his shyness as Joshua's blue-violet eyes bored into him. He looked down and spoke quietly.

"Are you going to fuck me?"

Joshua smiled, stepping back towards Neku, putting his arms around his neck and pulling him down not onto the sofa but down to the rug, so that they were both on their knees. Joshua looked into Neku's eyes passionately. One more tantalizing tease.

"Once more Neku" he leaned in, pressing their noses together "With feeling"

Neku grabbed hold of Joshua's arms and pushed him downwards so that he had Joshua pinned down. Lying on top of his lover, he got as close as he could to Joshua's face and spoke confidently.

"Are you going to fuck me, Joshua?"

Joshua leaned his head back in arousal and let out a quivering breath.

"Mmm… I like Forceful Neku…" he smiled, putting one hand up to twiddle his hair. "Your mind is filthy… bad, dirty Neku… thinking I would do such a thing."

He rolled them both to the side so that he was dominant again.

"Yes Neku." said Joshua "I am going to fuck you. In the way you clearly mean. Josh giggled "Hh-hm. But not today. Not yet." He hesitated. "Know that I want to. Remember that I will… but not now." He began to stand, leaving Neku lying on the floor, trying to scramble after him. As Neku was about to stand, Joshua smiled and pushed lightly downwards on Neku's shoulders

"There's something we can try right now though…" He looked down at Neku. "But I won't force you."

Neku felt shy and aroused at the same time. He nodded.

Joshua took this as a confirmation and started to undo his button and unzip his fly, while Neku scrambled to his knees. He let his jeans drop from his slim hips, and with them pulled down his underwear, unveiling his large, erect penis. Neku stared up at his partner, who was currently standing above him, pale and statuesque. He was suddenly reminded of the fact that the boy standing in front of him was, in origin, an angel- thin and pale and… perfect. He wanted to reach out and touch Joshua but… could he?

Joshua looked down at Neku expectantly. Neku concluded that they both wanted the same thing. He reached out to touch Joshua's manhood. Shy fingertips slid their way along one side, blushing furiously at how good it felt to be doing this. The body of it was engorged with blood, but the skin was soft and smooth on Neku's fingertips. The next few sentences were awkward. The libidinous, forceful Joshua seemed to have been replaced by a shy, lip-biting one once his clothes were removed.

"Do you… want to…" Joshua stuck his little finger into his mouth, seemingly the closest gesture he could get to explaining what he wanted without blushing.

"Yes" Neku nodded, he worried it was a little too eager "But… I mean… how do…"

"Don't worry, Neku. Just… do what you want to… what… feels right…"

Neku swallowed. Joshua's beautiful eyes were intense; strong and sexual, but reassuring too. He edged his mouth towards Joshua's appendage and softly took hold of the base, trying not to compare it to his own… now was not the time for feeling insignificant. As he got closer, a wave of arousal washed over him. He opened his mouth and took in the tip of the shaft, applying light suction. He drew back, licked the tip a couple of times, and closed his lips around the shaft again. The skin was warm, and the taste was subtle; the smell of Joshua's soft, pale skin mixed with something erotically different. Joshua was breathing heavily, shaking with sexual tension. Neku supposed he had had that for a while… and decided to indulge him. Slowly, he began to slide his mouth up and down it, listening to Joshua's quiet, satisfied moans. He went a little faster, up and down…

Joshua inhaled sharply, and Neku backed away "…Careful of your teeth, Neku"

Feeling he had failed Joshua, Neku blushed and bit his lip. "Sorry"

"Don't worry babe." Josh smiled down at him, and Neku felt his heart beating, relaxed again at this reassuring confirmation. "I won't know what I'm doing either...."

Neku felt a little surprised.

"So you haven't…"

Joshua raised an eyebrow at him, still looking down lovingly.

Neku didn't know why he was surprised… Why would Joshua be experienced? He seemed so confident at it but… Neku doubted he'd have got a chance in the higher plane… he felt stupid and embarrassed.

"You think I've done this before Neku?"

"Well… it's just…"

Joshua interrupted. "No-one, Neku. I've never… I haven't done anything. Not with either sex. I'm not normal, I-" He reached a hand towards Neku's face and brushed the hair away from the eyes, then tilted up the chin to look at him. The smile with which Neku was all too familiar was staring down at him. But instead of cutting him down, the denial which Joshua came out with was infinitely perfect.

"No-one I've ever got close to- not that the number amounted to much- was good enough. But you…" he sighed "I've never known anyone as special as you, Neku." he looked at him with indescribable compassion, and Neku felt his heart overflow with feelings for the boy in front of him. Neku smiled. Just when he was feeling embarrassed, Joshua had to break down his barriers by making him go all gooey.

"Now, you don't have to... you can stop if you want."

Returning to the current matter and surveying Joshua's body again brought back Neku's passion. Joshua reached down a hand to help Neku up, but Neku instead pushed the hand to Josh's side, covered his teeth with his lips and dived back in. Joshua's breathing skittered as Neku paused from frantic up-and down motion to rapidly flick his tongue across the tip of Joshua's penis, running a few fingers over his balls very gently. Neku was satisfied as he heard Joshua's sexy moans get higher and louder. Hmm. It was nice to feel empowered over Joshua for a change. He tried to play it up, that he was finally taking control. Neku was still in his boxers, Joshua was naked… his body was free for Neku to play with as he wished. Yes. He could see why Josh liked the control. As Neku sucked harder, sliding back and forth, Joshua looked like he was having trouble staying upright, his legs were jittering all over the place.

"Uh… uh… uh… I'm gonna…"

Just as Josh sounded on the point of climax, Neku pulled his hands and mouth away and stood to Joshua's height. Dizzied, and with his jeans and pants around his ankles, Joshua almost fell, but Neku wrapped a strong arm around his neck.

"Oh," Josh shook his head "You are cruel, Neku Sakuraba…"

Neku shivered "Use my name in that highly arousing way once more and I may have to torment you again." Smiled Neku. "Hmm…"

He used a forceful nudge of his hips to knock Joshua back onto the sofa, and looked down at him. Joshua looked back up at him, still breathing heavily

"Did someone lose control, Josh? That must be a tricky concept for you"

Joshua seemed to be finding it hard not to laugh, but instead just smirked and replied with defiance.

"Looks like someone might be having a go at role playing…"

Neku straddled Josh on the sofa and looked at him hungrily; although he was finding it hard not to wildly kiss all over Joshua's naked body, he was enjoying this.

"Aww…" he mocked a little, holding Joshua's arms up the sofa and against the wall, his hands clasped around his wrists. "Jealous, Josh?"

"Definitely…"

Joshua laughed, and flipped Neku over onto the other side of the couch, trying to prove Neku's cherished control was a sham. Although Neku had hold of Joshua's wrists, Joshua was inevitably stronger and Neku was powerless. Joshua planted a forceful kiss on Neku. Neku thought of struggling… but the kiss was too damn good to push away. Josh then stood, and pulling up his jeans, and the underwear with them.

"Come on" he said, confusing Neku.

He grabbed both Neku's hands and pulled him up, then led him back towards the far end of the room. As they passed the pool table, Joshua reached his hand to a wall and slid it sideways, revealing it to be a hidden door. Neku stared in surprise at the staircase behind it. Joshua smirked as he shut the door behind them.

"The reapers hang out down there but none of them know about this room. When I got Mr. H to design the place, he added a secret room for the Conductor… but I liked it so much I didn't tell him about it…"

At the top of the stairs, Joshua pushed open a door. He flicked a switch and bright electric candles flicked on throughout the dark room, decorated in black and deep green, a bathroom off to one side, a TV in the wall, and a large bed in the centre. Neku noticed that he could see the night sky through the tinted windows as Joshua closed the curtain.

"Where-"

Joshua answered before he could finish. "Special mirror coating. To the rest of Shibuya, this just looks like a meaningless garage where no one can get in… clever, isn't it?" he shook his head to stop his own distraction. "Anyway..." he walked to the foot of the bed, holding up a hand to stop the confused Neku moving any further.

"Want to show control, Neku. OK, here's the game." He unbuttoned his fly again "We both get naked and stand face-to-face. We have to try and look but not touch. First one to well… jump the other, loses… And loser gets punished as the winner sees fit. K Neku?"

Neku wavered. Joshua must be pretty confident in his own attractiveness… either that or he just wanted Neku to punish him… The thought of being that dominant unnerved Neku…

"Neku?"

"Does everything have to be a game with you, Josh?"

Joshua shrugged, but ignored answering his question. "Now, I have the advantage because… well, I'm used to wanting to do you and having to ignore it… but then again, you have your own secret weapon: I haven't had the pleasure of seeing you naked yet"

Joshua pulled his jeans and underwear down again, but this time kicked them away and stood naked, a couple of feet from Neku, ruffling his own hair with one hand.

Neku sighed and pulled down his own underwear, apparently to Joshua's approval… he hoped?

"You're not laughing at me, are you?" he blushed, knowing for a fact that despite the frail frame, Joshua was a little better endowed than him.

Josh shook his head.

"No, I just… you're very fucking sexy, Neku" He bit his lip. "This could be more of a challenge than I thought… Ready?"

Neku nodded, and Joshua grew silent. OK, this would be easy. Just think of Joshua as your friend, caring but platonic. Or as the composer, powerful and untouchable. Anything non-sexual. Fuck, fuck, fuck! He made the mistake of looking Joshua in the eye. Gorgeous ultramarine eyes, not so much the sparkle of clear blue pools but the darkness of a purple-blue swirling vortex. Ok, better avoid the eyes. The whole face for that matter- Joshua was just far too attractive. He could work his way up? By the time he got up to the face Joshua would have surrendered… he already looked like he was about to crack at any moment… OK. Start with the feet. Average feet. Average boys legs, thin but slightly muscular. Neku blushed again when he looked at Joshua's crotch. He calmed himself; he was moving too fast, work up sloooowly. Hands on the hips that curved in to a thin, flat, stomach, curving back out to a strong looking chest. There was muscle there again- the pale frame wasn't skeletal but slim with slight muscles. Damn, that was a nice chest…

"Wouldn't you just like to feel it against your back as I do you from behind?"

Neku jumped out of his skin. Joshua had worked out what he was doing. It wasn't fair, Joshua was cheating now. He tried to proceed calmly but Joshua's words had shaken him. Focus. The protruding collarbone…

"Remember what it feels like when we kiss, Neku? When I whisper in your ear…"

IGNORE HIM. COLLARBONE. Delicate… Neku liked it… no, don't think that way… Elegant neck surrounded by flyaway grey hair, the chin, the smile, that face... Oh, screw it. Neku leapt towards Joshua, wrapping his arms around him and kissing all over his face and neck, ending with a long, hot kiss on the lips, his fingers through Joshua's soft hair. Oh god, how could one person be so amazing?

When the kiss was over, Josh spun the pair around, flung the bedcovers across the room and threw Neku onto the bed. He kissed him some more, whilst one hand struggled to retrieve something from the bedside drawer. From the corner of Neku's eye the sight of ropes looked unnerving, but a proper glance revealed soft velcro cuffs. Not that ropes would've been so bad…

Joshua tied the ropes to either side of the bedpost, then affixed the cuffs on the end around Neku's wrists. Neku pretended to struggle as Joshua turned and tied his legs apart too, but his struggling was just for Joshua's benefit… he felt more comfortable being submissive…

Joshua straddled Neku, then leant his head down to look into his eyes intensely. Feeling Joshua's huge erection against his own made Neku worry he wouldn't be able to hold on any longer…

"I told you there would be a punishment" Joshua panted in Neku's ear. "But since you make me so fucking horny… I guess I'll try my best to have mercy on you" He held Neku's face and kissed him passionately. He worked downwards, kissing Neku's upper body, giving the nipples a teasing lick, Neku trying to stop the high pitched moans he was inadvertently making. Joshua gave one long lick across Neku's upper body, then moved downwards.

Neku could feel Joshua's breathing again, no longer on his neck but hot upon his crotch.

"What do you want me to do, Neku?"

"I- I-"

"Do you want me to suck your cock now?"

Neku gasped as Joshua flicked his tongue over the tip. "Yes… yes… do it… please?"

"Do what, Neku?"

Neku panted and wriggled on the bed, trying to thrust his hips forward, to no avail.

"Say it, Neku. Say "I want you to suck my cock, Joshua, because you make me very horny and you'll suck it sooooo fucking good… Say it, Neku…"

"Suck… my… cock…" he gasped "Josh…"

Josh smiled. "I guess it'll do."

He placed his tongue at the base of Neku's penis, right between the balls, and licked all the way up to the tip. Neku felt the feeling course through him, an uncontrollable spasm of pleasure, again and again. Joshua then grabbed it with his right hand, put his whole mouth on it and began to work his way up and down it enthusiastically, the pleasure becoming constant, growing stronger and stronger.

"Uh… uh…"

Joshua kept sucking, but as Neku's moans grew louder, Josh seemed to be having trouble not making sounds himself.

"Umh…" he pulled Neku's cock from his mouth and switched to holding it with his left hand. "You make me… so… horny Neku… so… fucking…"

He grabbed himself with his right hand and began masturbating furiously, his sounds muffled once more as he continued servicing Neku. Seeing this new sight element only added to Neku's close-to-breaking-point pleasure. Fuck… He felt sexy, he felt amazing… Joshua was amazing, fuck, he couldn't believe it was so perfect, he felt so good, the pleasure building and building and… oh god, he was…

"I'm gonna come" screamed Neku, shooting his load into Joshua's welcoming mouth and feeling him swallow it. Joshua slid back to lie beside Neku, and second later, his building sounds culminated in a moan of Neku's name, and he squirted over Neku's body.

They lay beside each other, each feeling like they were on about sixteen different planets at once, smiling at each other though everything was spinning. Joshua reached up and undid Neku's wrist cuffs, and then his arms flopped back down.

"What… about… the ankles…" panted Neku

"One… one second…"They lay there looking at each other and smiling, until Joshua had the strength to get up. He undid the ankle cuffs, grabbed a towel and retrieved the duvet from across the room. He wiped Neku down with the towel apologetically, then pulled the covers over them both and flipped onto his back. Neku turned to face Joshua and snuggled into his shoulder. Joshua wrapped both arms around Neku and kissed his forehead gently.

"Goodnight, Neku." He whispered sleepily.

"Night Josh."

Joshua drifted off almost immediately and lay, lips parted, breathing lightly. With all his sarcasm, linguistic skill and overbearing smugness gone with his conscious state, Joshua looked young and defenseless. Still gorgeous. Neku brought a hand up to stroke Joshua's cheek. And with all Joshua's annoying facades stolen by sleep, the truth was very clear to Neku, now. And with Joshua in this state he could reveal it without fear.

"I love you, Joshua." He whispered to the unconscious boy. "And from what you said… I think you feel the same way…"

And with that, Neku slipped out of the real world and fell blissfully into dreams of himself and Joshua, trading action plans for their city whilst floating above it, the busy streets of Shibuya harmonious and beautiful beneath them.


	3. Chapter 3

uSakurabaxKiyru: Part Three/u

As the blazing sun over Shibuya brightened, shining down on the early risers on the street, a few rays of light shone through the emerald curtains and onto the bed where the two teenage boys slept, entwined in each others arms. The grey-haired boy closest to the window opened his eyes, to find his normal view of the white ceiling obscured by tufts of orange. He swept Neku's hair from his face and stretched, smiling at his partner, who was still in a dream world. He stroked his lover's face, then sighed and his face turned slowly to one of worry. He slowly rolled the sleeping Neku out of his arms, slid out from under the covers and sat on the bed. What had he done?

They were kissing in a sparkling blue waterfall, embracing in semi-nudity. Joshua held Neku close and whispered that he was the only one for him. Neku nuzzled into Joshua's neck, the delicate, soft skin smelling of warm maple syrup, fronds of wet hair brushing Neku's face. Suddenly Joshua stepped away and Neku tried to grab his hand- but it slipped out of his grasp.

"Joshua" cried Neku, reaching through the waterfall. His hands searched through the streaming curtain, but Joshua could not be found.

"No" he mumbled, and was jolted into the real world, his eyes opening to find himself on Joshua's bed, alone. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around. From the adjoining bathroom, a trickling sound revealed the source of his waterfall dream: a running shower. A tray of pancakes sat on the table near Neku's side of the bed. Where the hell did Joshua cook those? Still, if the Dead God's Pad had a secret bedroom, why not a secret kitchen? Neku sat up. That had been a good sleep. He went to check his phone for the time and found it was dead. He hoped his parents weren't too worried: then again, he and Shiki often stayed at Beat and Rhymes' house on Fridays, so he was sure it'd be fine. He was glad he did not have to rush off to school, he was eager to spend time with Joshua today.

He yawned, stretching, and got up to open the curtains which Joshua had left closed so he could sleep. Shibuya was sparkling in the morning sun; Neku guessed it was still about ten o clock. He gazed out on the street, smiling at the knowledge he could not be seen behind the mirror-front windows, and heard the running of water halt abruptly. Josh was out… excitedly he retrieved his boxers, scurried towards the bathroom door and gingerly pushed it open, smiling.

Joshua wrapped a towel around himself and looked up to find Neku peeking around the door at him, a beautiful smile on his face. He bit his lip, and flinched away when Neku went to hug him. His heart bled at the expression Neku gave in response, and his face solemn, he reluctantly hugged him back.

"Sorry." He gave Neku a squeeze and let him go.

"What was that for?" replied Neku, his face drooping.

Joshua leant against the sink on one hand, trying to find the words. He felt so bad.

Joshua wasn't saying anything, just leaning back, one hand on the sink behind him, and the other clasped around his elbow. Neku watched him look up, then walk right past him back into the bedroom. Neku turned and sat beside him.

"Josh, what's up?" he leant his head on Joshua's shoulder, the grey hair damp against his face. "Please talk to me."

Josh said nothing, but he pulled his arm from his side and snaked it around Neku's waist, holding him tightly. Finally, he spoke.

"Neku, I-" he cut himself off, sighing. "I'm sorry."

Peering out of the corner of his right eye, Joshua saw Neku's confused and slightly worried expression. He held him closer and looked him in the eye solemnly.

"Why? What do you mean?" asked Neku, his pale blue eyes staring at Josh strangely. "Sorry… as in…"

"As in I apologize to you… I shouldn't have… what we did was…"

Those blue eyes stared widely again, looking like they might cry. "You mean… don't you… don't you like me anymore?"

Joshua looked at that beautiful face and stroked it. He had thought of lying, just to let the poor boy go, but… Neku seemed sincere and worried. He had to tell the truth.

"Of course I do, Neku. I adore you, you know that." Relief spread over Neku's features. "It's just that… I'm worried I took advantage of you."

He felt Neku's arms pull himself closer.

"No." Neku said blankly.

"Neku… you were vulnerable and… you were upset about Shiki, and it feels like maybe you just needed someone, because she-"

Neku interrupted "Screw her, Josh. I don't care. I see now, I was just jealous because I felt alone and they had each other."

Joshua took hold of Neku's shoulders and held him away so he would listen.

"That's not the point, Neku. You're young, you're impressionable, you-"

"Josh!" Neku sounded taken aback "You're not my mother!" he pushed Joshua away, got up, walked away from the bed, arms crossed, back to Joshua. Joshua followed, and stood inches behind him.

"Neku-"

"Josh, stop, please."

"Listen-" he put a hand on Neku's shoulder and Neku spun to face him.

"No, you listen. You're always acting like you know everything, just because you're some sort of super being, but you're just as clueless as everybody sometimes. I don't want to hear any kind of crap about how you're worried or I'm too young to understand." His was obviously trying to yell, but his voice sounded choked "If you've changed your mind, then you can leave if you want." Joshua tried to reply but Neku apparently wasn't finished. "But whatever you do, don't try and tell me that you don't deserve me or that I'm confused, because I know how I feel. I love you, Joshua."

Joshua saw the sincerity in Neku's eyes, and the tears beginning to run from them, and felt taken aback. He hadn't thought… mind you, Neku was hard to read. But… if Neku's feelings were genuine…

He pulled Neku close and looked into his eyes.

"I love you too, Neku." He gave him a gentle kiss.

Oh how he wanted to leave it at that, leave the sentiment complete. But the concern spilled out. "I love you… but I worry about you."

"Don't." Neku smiled back at him. "Worry about yourself. Stop wondering if I know what I want, and focus on what you want."

Joshua stared in reverence at the teen. Neku was right. Joshua looked into his eyes.

"I… want you." He replied compliantly. "But…" he put a finger to Neku's lips to stop him interrupting. "Neku, I'm the Composer of Shibuya. I'm in a human incarnation right now but…" he sighed "I can't always be."

Neku looked back at Joshua worriedly. He had thought Joshua was being ignorant… but it had been him all along, he had missed the bigger picture. Joshua wasn't superhuman… he wasn't human at all, at least, not in his real form; there was a reason he hadn't stayed in the RG after the game… He edged back towards the bed, followed by Joshua, and the two sat down in silence.

"Neku?"

Joshua's voice startled him; Neku had got lost in his thoughts for a second. He was worried

"So... how will this…"

Joshua stroked Neku's face. "I can still see you Neku. I'll try to see you as much as I can but… I need to look after Shibuya…"

Neku nodded.

"But I mean… is that what you really want, Neku? Because you have to know that it won't be easy. Shibuya is peaceful now, so I no longer have a Conductor… I'm in charge of everything. But it also helps that it's fairly harmonious. I can visit you… but I might not know when."

Neku swallowed. He knew it would be hard. But he also knew that to be held in the arms of the beautiful Composer only sometimes was better than to never be held by him again. The loneliness was worth the fleeting moments of love and lust and companionship. He nodded at the silver-haired boy.

"I know it'll be hard. But… I don't care. If you promise to make the effort for me, Josh… I'll wait for you"

Neku wondered when he had become so sappy. How did he get from wanting to punch this guy in the face to wanting to spend every moment he could by the Composer's side?

Joshua smiled "I'll make the effort. I promise." He leaned in to steal another kiss from Neku's lips and Neku obligingly accepted the warmth, kissing back, but Joshua broke away after a few seconds. "Having said that, I need to get back there soon…"

Neku looked at him, upset. "Today?"

Joshua patted his hand and smiled, playing with a lock of the redhead's hair. "Hmm…Tomorrow."

Neku nodded and they embraced again, kissing for a lot longer this time.

When they finally drifted apart, Joshua giggled and reached over to the tray on the bedside table, pulling it onto Neku's lap. "Now eat your pancakes like a good Neku…"

Neku grinned "You're annoying, you know that?" but he spoke without his usual malice towards Joshua, and reached towards the tray.

"I know…" he giggled once more. "…But you can't do anything about it… because you love me" he batted his eyelashes at Neku.

Joshua was trying to return to his normal, cynical, playful turn, but Neku could sense the excitement in his voice. Who would have thought he could make a demi-god overjoyed with a few honest words? He suddenly noticed that he was quite hungry, and began to wolf down the pancakes although they were starting to get cold. Joshua gave him a peck on the cheek began walking around the room finding his crumpled underwear and jeans; he obviously didn't come to this room that much, explaining both the lack of clean clothes and the impeccable state it had been in when they entered.

"Just getting the rest of our clothes" a topless Joshua said, slipping through the door. Neku watched the slim, wet haired boy leave, and hoped the Reapers hadn't been in yet today… he could imagine their amusement at finding the most frequently worn clothes of the Composer and his proxy strewn around the Dead God's Pad…

He went back to eating and was nearly finished when he heard Joshua's footsteps up the stairs, faster than the ones when he had left. Joshua dropped Neku's cargoes beside him, and Neku noticed the muffled ringing sound coming from them. He reached into his pocket and pulled the phone out.

"Neku?" asked a high-pitched female voice on the end of the line.

"Uh… Hi Shiki…" Neku replied as he watched the Composer raise an eyebrow, slipping his shirt on.

"Neku, where the hell have you been? I've been worried about you!"

"Uh… sorry Shiki, I-"

"We arranged to meet at your house today, and I knocked and there was no answer! Then I called you like five times, I even called your mum and she said she thought you'd come back after she went to bed… I was worried sick about you, so are Beat and Rhyme-

"Shiki, I-"

"I thought you could be dead again! Especially since you told me that Joshua creep kept showing up-"

"SHIKI!" Neku couldn't help but being annoyed by the girl's mistrust, although it was identical to what he had felt just a few days ago about the boy who had just sat down next to him. "I'm with Joshua right now, ok? He's…" he looked over at his lover and wanted to tell the truth, but he wavered "He's my friend, alright? I stayed with him last night, we were catching up…"

Joshua snorted, and Neku tried to point the phone away so Shiki wouldn't hear. He blushed and motioned to the other to shush.

"Well, okay, but will the two of you at least meet us at Wildkat in an hour? I need to talk to you."

"Oh? Asked Neku.

"Um, yeh… Rhyme's ill…" Neku knew she was lying. "So me and Beat are… going to hang out for a bit." Neku could hear her uneasy tone as she tried to return to her normal cheery one. "We're going to the ten-four now, I saw these shoes there that-"

The voice of Shiki rambling in his right ear drifted from Neku's attention as he felt a breathy whisper in his left

"Friends, are we, Neku dear?"

Neku shivered as Joshua's fingers ran up his thigh towards his crotch

"Shiki… uh- I got to go…" He let out a sigh as Joshua touched him rather inappropriately. "I-I'll see you at Wildkat..." he hung up and was met by an indignant Joshua looking at him.

He nuzzled into Neku's neck, and although he spoke in his usual chiding tone, he looked a little put out.

"Ashamed of your… dear partner, Neku?"

Neku blushed at the new meaning those words had taken on.

"I'm sorry…" Neku looked back into the violet eyes. "I just… she wanted to meet in person to talk about… her and Beat so… I thought I'd extend the same courtesy"

"Ah" nodded Joshua, a glint in his eye "But don't you want to be the first to tell her…"

Neku sighed "Maybe. We'll see who cracks first."

Joshua lay back next to the sitting Neku "When do you have to leave?"he sighed.

Neku looked back. Had Joshua misunderstood? He hesitated "About an hour, but… you're coming with me, you know…"

Joshua looked back at him and smiled "Really?"

"Course..." Neku smiled and pulled Josh back up. "I can't waste a single moment with you."

Joshua hugged him gratefully.

"Now… if you want to be discrete about things, Neku, I suggest you wash the smell of me off you… I'll go get some of my spare clothes… any preferences?"

Neku shrugged, and then hesitated as his partner stood. "Just don't like… put me in a dress…"

Joshua giggled, and once again brought his hand to the boy's orange locks, then slid it down his face admiringly. "Now, Neku, why would I want to obscure all your masculine beauty like that, hmm…" he giggled again "Still, you did look cute in that lace up Lolita thing…"

Neku pretended not to remember their fourth day together.

"You know the one; you wore it 'cause I said it would increase your attack."

"Shut up" said Neku, hiding his smile by glaring a little.

"It didn't, did it Neku? I've still got the pictures on my ph-"

"OUT" Neku stated, trying not to bite Joshua someplace, but still smiling as Joshua obligingly slipped out. He was kind of naïve for not noticing the way Joshua liked to play around with him before. When Joshua had left he went to shower, grabbing the towel Joshua had used and breathing in its warm scent before leaving it on the radiator to dry.

Joshua rifled through the closet nearest to his throne, hoping Neku would approve of what he picked. Insecurity and doubt plagued him. Was Neku really worried about people knowing about the two of them? He pulled out some bondage pants, removing the straps across them: it would be undignified for the Composer of Shibuya to trip about the place. He buttoned up a sleeveless white Dragon Couture shirt and threw his bunny parka over the top. He hoped Neku would like the look. Neku was harder to find suitable attire for, and by the time Joshua had trudged upstairs, Neku was back in the bedroom, drying his vibrant orange hair. Joshua could never quite grasp the way his heart fluttered whenever he looked at the boy; after his chaste years as the ruler of a city, the simple concept of love was unfamiliar to him. The redhead was frowning at the tendrils around his face.

"Josh, there's no gel here."

Joshua ruffled his own fluffy hair, which was now almost dry. "Who needs gel?"

"I do" moaned Neku "I look sucky."

"You look cute" giggled Joshua. He grabbed a comb from one of the bedside drawers and began to run it through the orange tresses, throwing the pile of clothes onto the bed. Neku obviously remembered what had come out of the drawer, and Joshua saw the blue eyes staring at him as he combed.

"Josh, why did you keep handcuffs-" Joshua answered before Neku had finished

"Just in case… Hh-hm…"

Neku sighed but seemed to take this as a fair explanation. Joshua stroked the wet red hair down and tiptoed up to kiss Neku's forehead.

"Beautiful" he said, smiling, and picked up the clothes again, holding them against Neku. Neku seemed fairly approving; Joshua had done his best, the trousers being a pair from his favourite suit, the red v-neck slim fitting on Neku, and the black blazer completing the combo. Neku went over to the mirror to survey himself when he was done.

"Not bad…" he reached back to his head. "The hair's so… flat… though…"

"If you're that desperate for gel" smiled Joshua "I can think of a close alternative…"

"I'm tempted" Neku walked back to Josh and kissed him softly. "But I think we better leave now." He did up one of the jacket buttons and took Joshua's hand, leading the way

"Yes sir" smiled Joshua.

As they walked through Shibuya's hot streets, they held hands unashamedly. Joshua had been worried Neku didn't want to be seen with him, but the boy's confident grip reassured him. However, the hand loosened again as they got near Cat street. Neku let go and kissed him gently.

"I'm sorry, Josh… we just need to explain it to them first…"

Joshua felt a little down, but he nodded, and the boys walked side by side over to the café.


	4. Chapter 4

Neku couldn't help but notice the disappointed look on Joshua's face. He wanted to hold Joshua's hand, he just didn't want Shiki or Beat to be mad. Well, the two of them had gone off together, but why not him and Joshua? He supposed the difference was that he'd given Shiki, Beat and Rhyme a rather unbalanced view of Joshua after his fury at the game, and whilst Rhyme seemed to always try to explain to Neku why Joshua would've done it (after all, without Neku being put in the game as a proxy, she herself would've ended up erased for good) Shiki and Beat seemed more determined to take on what he said and agree with him that Josh was a jerk. That one-sided view would be hard to undo, especially since this would be the first time his friends had seen Joshua since the game. He sighed.

"Joshua, you will be nice, won't you?"

"Depends." answered Josh a little moodily, and Neku sighed again.

"Just try, for me?"

"For you…"shrugged Joshua "I suppose."

That didn't sound too good, thought Neku, but he knew he had to try and piece together these two important parts of his life at some point, so they headed into the quiet café, where the dark haired owner was turned away from them, cleaning a coffee machine.

"Hey, Mr. H" Neku chimed.

Mr. Hanekoma heard an unusual brightness in the familiar tone and turned.

"Phones!" he paused, raising an eyebrow at Joshua "J?…"

"Hi Sanae" he smirked, flicking his eyes towards Neku as if to try and suggest to his Producer why he was currently in the RG. "I'll talk to you in a sec…"

Across the café, which was a little less deserted on Saturdays but still pretty empty, the voices had caught the attention of a dark-haired girl, who nudged the blond boy beside her and waved at them.

"Hey…" called Neku as the two boys walked over to the U-shaped booth, Beat nodded towards Neku, then turned to stare at the Composer in what looked like a mixture of fear and anger. Shiki was biting her lip worriedly and stirring the dregs at the bottom of her milkshake, trying not to look at Joshua.

"Hi" she said quietly when they got to the table "Um, nice hair"

"Thanks." Neku said with the same quiet tone she had used, and looked at Joshua, who suddenly seemed to have got a little awkward.

"Um… nice to see you again…" he said, his voice shy but trying to be nice. Neku sat down on the other side of the booth from the pair, but Joshua stayed standing, glancing at Hanekoma.

"Can I get you guys anything?" he asked politely, pulling out his wallet.

Shiki looked up at him as if surprised he was communicating like a normal person.

"Just a regular blend for me" Neku said, playing along with Joshua's cheerful façade.

There was a pause, until Josh spoke again.

"Shiki? Another milkshake? Anything for you Beat?"

"I'm good." replied Beat, still staring at the silver haired boy, taking an annoyed bite out of his donut.

"Oh… ok…" Shiki gave in and reached for her purse, but Joshua waved a hand and smiled.

"On me" he turned and walked towards the counter.

While he conversed with Hanekoma, Shiki leant towards Neku and spoke in a whisper. She didn't sound too angry, as much as she was confused.

"Neku?" Neku looked back at her "How… I thought you hated him?"

"I was just annoyed." he answered "He's a good guy, Shiki… I just… I was just angry and-"

"He shot you twice!" she hissed

He sighed. "And he brought me back. He brought us all back!"

Beat suddenly interrupted, in a voice much louder than Shiki's whisper.

"That freak gives me the creeps, yo…"

"Beat!" Shiki looked at him disapprovingly "Shhh"

"Wut? He ain't even human." Beat crossed his arms.

Neku looked at Joshua, who, despite his conversation with Mr. H could clearly hear Beat's words, and looked a little downtrodden. His eyes blazed at Beat, and he had to take deep breaths to stop himself trying to hurt him… he knew it wouldn't have ended well."

"Alright, without him I wouldn't have died" replied Neku "But I wouldn't have had friends like you guys either. You might not even be here!"

Shiki looked back into her milkshake guiltily, and Beat still looked unconvinced.

"Just try to give him a chance" whispered Neku, as Josh returned.

He slid in next to Neku and pushed Shiki and Neku's drinks towards them.

"Nice dress, by the way, Shiki" he commented.

"Oh… really?" against her better judgment, Shiki appeared to be blushing. Her dress was a soft pink and made from swirls of chiffon, with a thick cream-couloured belt holding in the swathes.

"Yeah, where'd you get it?"

Neku rolled his eyes, knowing that Joshua was fully aware Shiki made her own clothes. Well, if it caused a good impression, he guessed it was worth the corniness.

Shiki giggled "Actually, I made it myself… I used to just make clothes for my friend Eri but recently I've started doing my own designs"

"Well… keep at it" smiled Joshua, and Shiki giggled again.

_Grr, he better not keep this up_, Neku thought jealously… this was getting close to flirting… Thankfully, with Shiki somewhat convinced that Joshua was a nice person, he turned to Beat.

Joshua was a little scared of attempting to communicate with the large blond boy in front of him. He knew the boy to be brash and lairy, and it would be hard to get through to him by compliments. He was no physical threat; if necessary, Joshua could crush him with a flick of his wrist… but the whole point of this was to get Beat to like him. How could you do that who had no understanding of subtlety? His thoughts were suddenly interrupted.

"What you doin' here, prissy kid?"

"Beat!" Shiki breathed, angrily.

"Don't worry, Shiki" said Joshua "Beat's concerns are somewhat valid, I suppose."

"Yo what's with the fancy talk?" Beat interjected.

God, what was wrong with this boy?

"Beat, calm down, please" Neku said quietly.

"He dropped a car on me!" whined the blonde.

"Is that what this is about, Beat?" Shiki asked concernedly.

"Yeh, he hurt me, yo"

"YOU TRIED TO KILL NEKU!" Joshua yelled.

"I WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE, YO!"

Joshua's eyes flared as if he had been struck. He gave an angry sigh and got up, walking towards the door. He couldn't take this. Sanae was staring at them. He hadn't been best pleased when Joshua had explained why he was there. And maybe he was right, it wasn't right to try to bond with normal humans like this.

"Josh, wait" Neku was running up behind him.

"I can't do this, Neku. I'll see you later."

"Joshua, please" Neku had a tight hold on Joshua's arm. Joshua sighed. He looked back at the table where they had been sitting. Shiki was pleading with Beat to calm down, and Beat was still looking at Joshua angrily. "For me?" Neku asked. Seeing the boy's pleading expression, Joshua weakened.

"I don't know what to do, Neku."

"Josh" Neku whispered "This has to work, I lo-"

"Neku…" Joshua cut him off.

"Hey guys" Shiki was walking closer to them "I want to apologise to both of you for Beat's behaviour. Neku, if you say Joshua is ok, then I trust you. Beat has… some issues…"

Neku crossed his arms "Understatement of the century."

Shiki giggled a little, then smiled apologetically. "I guess so." She looked back at the boy. "C'mon"

She practically marched them back to the table and sat them down, taking her place beside Beat "Beat, do you have something to say?"

Beat gave a forced mutter "Sorry Phones. Sorry prissy ki- Oww!" He looked over at Shiki, who had just elbowed him in the ribs "Sorry JOSHUA."

"Apology accepted." Joshua smiled. "Though if you wish to call me prissy kid that's fine… I'm not particularly familiar with human nicknames but that doesn't seem to be the worst…" He noticed Neku was giving him a very pointed look. He sighed. "And I'm sorry, for any misgivings towards you, or towards dear Neku here."

Beat nodded in agreement. "I would've pounded you if you didn't have that drinks-machine-car-power dude"

Joshua arched his eyebrow "I'm sure you would…" he remarked, having to use 99% of his willpower not to burn a hole in the table with a Jesus beam.

Luckily, the sarcasm of his comment was entirely lost on Beat, who looked quite proud of himself.

"Listen." Shiki started nervously. "Uh, Beat and I have something we should probably tell you."

Beat's tough guy demeanor softened a little and he stared down at his plate. He cleared his throat "Uh… yeah."

"Um… well…" Shiki giggled nervously, then tried to maintain a more serious tone. "Beat and I have gotten kinda close lately, and well… we hope we haven't been leaving you out Neku…"

"Not really" Neku said, sounding semi bored at the inevitable confession.

"Um, well, we… we've got really close, and um… Beat?" she looked at him, and he looked up.

"Uh see thing is Phones… we's… kind of… a couple now…"

"Ah…" said Neku, acting as if he was surprised. "So you're telling me because… you want some space?" _If we all leave now_… thought Neku _I won't have to go through the awkwardness of telling them…_

"Oh, no" said Shiki worriedly "Of course we want to spend time with you. With both of you" she added thoughtfully. "We just… weren't sure how you'd react and-"

"How I'd react? What are you talking about? I think it's great" He gave his most genuine smile, which seemed to send Shiki into a slight confusion

"Oh…" she said, looking down.

"We was thinkin' you'd be all upset 'cause you used to like Shiki and she used to li-"

"Beat, shut UP!" Shiki said, flustered.

"Guys, it's really sweet that you're worried about me, but really, I'm ok. Shiki, I do like you, but… you know, only as a friend"

Beat and Shiki both looked relieved, smiling at each other.

"Anyway, Neku's got some news too, haven't you, Neku" prompted Joshua.

"Huh?" asked Shiki, tearing her gaze away from Beat's. "You have, Neku"

"I uh…" Neku was a bit taken a back, glaring at Joshua for not having given him more time. Joshua's rebuttal was to give his upper thigh a squeeze under the table, turning him bright red. "I…" he repeated.

"Neku's got someone of his own." smiled Joshua.

"Really Neku?" Shiki looked excited "Ooh, you have to tell us about her!"

Joshua smirked, but gave no further comment, leaving Neku in his frustration. The fact that Joshua's hand was travelling further up his thigh was certainly no help.

"Well… um…"

"Yo, Phones" called Hanekoma "Need to talk to you a sec."

Neku breathed a sigh of relief, and Joshua looked dismayed, turning to Mr. H angrily. He sighed "Fine." and neatly stepped out to let Neku past.

Neku walked over to the coffee counter, still biting his lip.

"Thank you, Mr H" he said quietly, when he got there.

"For what, Phones?" Mr.H said absent-mindedly, drying a glass.

"Never mind… what did you want to talk to me about?"

Mr H shook his head a little before speaking, his voice a low, warning tone. "Phones, are you sure about…" he nudged his head in the Joshua's direction, where the occupants of the table seemed to be making semi-awkward conversation. "He's not human, you know."

Neku crossed his arms "Neither are you."

Hanekoma scratched the back of his neck "Well that's… a fair point" he smiled. "As long as he's not forcing you into anything, Phones"

"No." said Neku defiantly. "I…" he looked over at Joshua "I… like him." it made him feel shy to say the words to someone outside the situation. But then Mr.H had always been his confidante.

"Well that's fine by me, Phones. As long as it doesn't have repercussions on his work. And you know you can't see him the whole time."

"I know. But you said it yourself Mr.H…"

"Said what?"

Neku smiled "Enjoy the moment"

"Neku." Neku jumped about a foot in the air hearing Joshua beside him

"What the- you don't HAVE to do that anymore!" he breathed.

Joshua shrugged "It's fun." he gave his classic giggle. "And you love it."

Neku blushed "I hate you sometimes."

Joshua clutched his heart "Under love's heavy burden do I sink." he said, in his usual sarcastic tone, then gave Neku a wink.

Neku sighed "Anyway, why are you over here instead of over there."

Joshua grimaced a little. "They're getting all lovey-dovey."

Neku glanced over to see Beat and Shiki engaging in a public display of affection in the two boys absence.

"Heterosexual kissing." Joshua shivered "…creeps me out."

Neku was inclined to smirk a little at that. "Heterophobe…" he accused

"Am I going to have to shut you up?" Joshua smirked back in an evilly flirty tone.

Mr.H, to his credit, turned away and went back to drying glasses.

"Anyway Neku" Joshua continued "When are you going to tell them?"

"I'm sorry, Josh, it's hard, I'm not used to… you know… saying anything personal, really. It's nothing to do with you"

Joshua leaned back on the counter, crossing his arms. "It's got everything to do with me." He sighed.

"Spare me the theatrics Josh" Neku sighed back. Joshua didn't reply. "I will tell them, I'll do it soon"

"Mmhmm." agreed Joshua bluntly.

Neku glanced over at Shiki and Beat, who had moved from the table and begun to slow dance to the music on the Hanekoma's ancient jukebox, along with a few of the other couples in the nearly-deserted café.

"Joshua?" The silver-haired boy opened his eyes, and Neku offered him his hand "Would you like to dance?"

Joshua's warm smile returned "Mr. Sakuraba" he said, in a tone of feigned innocence "I didn't know you had it in you…"

"Is that a yes?"

"…Do I get to lead?"

Neku sighed "It's a slow song, so there's hardly much leading to do." he paused "But I can't dance, so… if there's any leading, you're in charge."

Joshua seemed to take that as enough confirmation, and walked withthe other boy towards the other couples near the jukebox, trying to hide that he still felt a little weird at the boy's reluctance to admit their relationship. Was it even a relationship to him? Teens seemed to throw the word 'love' around these days. Neku was still glancing at Shiki and Beat.

"Is this your cop-out, Sakuraba?

"What?"

"Are you hoping they'll ask about us and you'll just have to give a 'yes'?" he hissed.

"Do you want to dance or not?" said Neku, but his expression said it all. _Forget it. _thought Joshua. _He's ashamed of you. He'll forget about you once you're gone, and next time you come back, he'll hate you again._

Joshua sighed, and as the next song began, they moved together. Neku was blushing furiously as Joshua took one of his hands and wrapped the other arm around his waist. Joshua moved slowly, thinking how cute it was that Neku got so flustered, but all the while, panicking himself. It felt like falling into an abyss, the fact that he was holding the boy so close but knew that they would soon part. Like a dreadful form of dramatic irony; deep down he knew something he didn't want to let himself know…

It didn't take long for people to notice them dancing, and while most of the other customers stared a little, or smiled at them politely, Joshua saw Shiki whisper something to her boyfriend, and both looked over, bemused, though still dancing together. The pairs stared at each other and said nothing.

"I'm really bad at this" Neku said, laughing a little, a rare sound which Joshua cherished. Even if it was a ruse by Neku to make their actions seem more innocent.

"You makin' fun of us, Phones?" Beat asked jokily, not so much angrily, but still trying to work out what was going on.

Shiki looked at them closely. "Beat… I think…" she trailed off, leaving Beat confused as to what she was saying. Neku swallowed and laughed, still playing the 'we're-doing-this-jokily' act, allowing Joshua to spin him round and catch him. Their bodies were touching now, dancing much closer, and Neku was staring. Joshua sighed. _The last thing I mean to do is make his life any harder…/i_

He came a little closer, wrapping one arm around the boy's neck in a semi-friendly manner.

"It's ok, Neku." he said, trying to maintain his usual uncaring tone. "You don't have to tell them if you don't want to." he realised his eyes were stinging. Damn this human body and it's amplification of emotions.

Neku pulled away a little so he could look at Joshua's expression. He looked incredibly surprised at how hurt Joshua was. He stared a little, and Joshua stared back. He could see the sympathy on Neku's face, and then the boy looked down, apparently angry. IAt…at me?/I Joshua wondered. IOr.. at himself?/I. He then looked in Shiki and Beat's direction, and Joshua looked too. The pair were still staring at them while dancing.

"Joshua?" Neku asked, and the silver haired boy turned back to face him.

He could feel Neku's heart beating hard against his own. Neku pulled Joshua close and kissed him, a long, slow, forceful kiss. Joshua kissed back with shock, happiness welling up inside him and overcoming his previous neuroses. When Neku let go he was smiling broadly.

"Neku…" Joshua panted

"I hope that wasn't too much of a cop out…" Neku ventured

"N-no… that was…" he glanced at Beat and Shiki, who had stopped moving, and were just standing a metre away, staring at them open-mouthed.

"Because…" he wrapped both arms around Joshua's shoulders, allowing Joshua to bring both hands to his waist. The redhead spoke deliberately loudly. "I love you, Joshua" he looked over to Beat and Shiki. "And everyone who's important to me needs to know that."

Walking closer to them, Shiki smiled sweetly and put a hand to her heart, touched by Neku's words. Beat, following, still looked confused, but seemingly the kiss, and Neku's words, were obvious enough that even he had a basic idea of what was going on. His eyes were still wide, and his mouth open, but he nodded. Neku let go of Joshua, and the boy took his hand and held it tight.

When they got closer Shiki playfully punched Neku on the arm "You could've just told us." she brought a fist to her mouth and giggled a little.

"Y… yeah…" Beat added, a lot more hesitant.

Neku couldn't help but be surprised by their acceptance. "Sorry…" he replied, looking down.

"And you." she turned to Joshua "If you ever hurt him… Composer or not, I'll hunt you down."

"Yeah." said Beat, adhering to the words a little more seriously than Shiki had intended.

Neku looked to Joshua nervously, but the boy simply smiled, then stared at him with a look that made his heart melt.

"Never."

The two couples looked at each other, both holding hands.

Neku was the first to speak. "I think we should go now." he smiled.

"You sure?" Joshua asked.

Neku nodded. "Shiki, I'll call you later."

Shiki giggled. "Um, yeah, we have a lot to talk about"

They waved goodbye and left, Mr.H saluting them on their way out.

"Neku… that was… the most romantic thing you could've ever done" Joshua said quietly.

"Mmm" Neku nodded. "And it was a lot easier than I thought."

"Hmm?" Joshua asked, and was silenced by Neku reaching across to gently kiss him again.

How cliché, that a kiss could make everything right.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello, dears. I just wanted to say at this juncture that I was only really inspired to rekindle and finish this because of all your favourites and lovely comments. Ily. Sadly this is the second-from-last chapter. And so as you know, this one, and the one that follows, are mature for a REASON. Hee hee. Enjoy.

* * *

That day they spent the most time together since Neku's second week in the UG, wandering around Shibuya until it grew dark.

"Neku." Joshua warned, as they sat together on one of the benches by Hachiko. "You know I don't have long. I said tomorrow, I mean it. Early tomorrow…"

Neku sat and stared at Joshua, finding his comment strange. It wasn't like him at all to be the one pushing Neku away. The redhead rested his chin on the other male's shoulder. "C'moooon…." he coaxed, rubbing his hair against Joshua's neck..

Joshua shook his head, but kissed Neku's forehead, and put an arm around him.

"You know I'd do anything to spend time with you…" he said sadly. "But we're starting a game tomorrow. That's one of the reasons Sanae was warning me."

"…Oh." Neku replied. It was strange when he remembered how much responsibility Joshua had. It was like dating… a real grown-up. It was certainly a shift from Neku's ethos of dating no-one. He looked up at the composer and could feel the inexplicable attraction he had hidden from himself for so long. He leaned across to kiss Joshua, who returned the kiss and smiled at him.

"You'll come back when this game is over?" he questioned, trying to sound as adult and matter-of-fact as possible.

Joshua sighed sadly. "It's not as simple as that, Neku. My duties extend a little way beyond overseeing each game." he hesitated, as if unsure whether to continue.

"…But… you will come back?" continued Neku, his reply coming only in the form of another awkward silence. "Joshua." Neku said warningly, unable to hide his annoyance at the other's reaction. He turned Joshua to face him roughly. "Promise me." he demanded.

Joshua stared into the aqua of Neku's eyes. Why was he acting so aloof about this? Of course he would come back for Neku. He always had, no matter how rejecting the reaction, and he always would.

"I promise." he said, smiling. "And you?"

It was now Neku's turn to act offhandedly. "What about me?" he asked, crossing his arms and turning his face away a little.

"Promise me, Neku, that you'll wait for me.

"O-of course…" he stammered. "But…" he looked at Joshua worriedly. "You're not going to be that long, are you?"

Joshua looked down at his hands. He had always been scared to make predictions or promises. He could be back in a week. He could be months. If he overestimated, Neku would get angry, or might not wait for him. If he underestimated, he risked disappointing his lover. He really was treading on thin ice.

"I… I can't say… but…" Neku's worried look was turning to one of suspicion. "Ok." he said. "I think it should be less than a month. If I need to work longer, I'll get the message to you. And that's another promise."

"A month?" The words fell from Neku's mouth dejectedly, as if he were a little hurt by them. He then took a breath and composed himself "Um… yes, I suppose that's reasonable."

Joshua hugged him hard. "You're cute when you're flustered babe."

"Don't CALL me that!" Neku fumed into Joshua's chest, and he could tell without even a glance that the other boy was turning bright red.

Joshua smirked. "You're really going to have to get used to the fact that you're mine now." He held Neku tighter and more possessively.

Josh's tone calmed Neku more than it angered him. It was nice to feel wanted by someone you wanted back. Even if he was embarrassing as hell. He relaxed into the hug, wrapping his arms around Joshua's neck to return the affection.

"Yeah… well… you're mine too…" he said uncomfortably.

"Always." Joshua whispered into his hair. Neku leant up and they kissed again.

"And…" Neku began "If-"

He silenced himself when they both realised that Joshua's phone was ringing. The composer glanced at the screen, sighed in annoyance, and picked up.

"What?" he asked exasperatedly, practically yelling down the phone.

_Remind me to teach him some manners…_ thought Neku.

"No, I TOLD you, tomorrow." though Neku couldn't make out the words on the other end, he could hear that it was Mr. Hanekoma, and he didn't sound anywhere near his normal cheeriness.

"I'm-with-Neku." Joshua breathed angrily, as if spelling out his point to someone who was mentally slow. He glanced at the aforementioned, and got up from his seat.

As he walked across the busy meeting place, Josh's words grew fainter, though he occasionally glanced at Neku. He could make out his own name in the conversation, as well as a couple of uses of 'Screw you' and 'Can't someone else take care of it?'

Neku chewed at his bottom lip. What sort of havoc could be wreaked in the UG without Joshua there to prevent it? Could his own want for companionship cause the city trouble, after all he had done to try to save it?

"Sanae, the game doesn't even start until tomorrow!"

"And you haven't done any of the protocol! Boss, you can't just abandon everything for Phones."

"Abandon? This is my week off, and I still spent half of it writing up one of your ridiculous day-by-day game reports. You're so bloody paranoid about this stuff! I bet this isn't even a real situation. And if you-"

"Joshua." he was cut off by a hand on his shoulder.

The composer turned to the redhead now behind him, and sighed. "What is it, dear?" he said, in the kindest voice he could manage in his current frustration. Neku placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a serious look.

"Go." he said, his voice soft but imperative.

Joshua stared at him. "One second…" he told Hanekoma, ignoring the stream of warnings and profanity, and held the phone to his chest.

"What?" he asked Neku.

The boy crossed his arms. "You heard me. Shibuya is more important. And… I want you but… it needs you." Neku looked a little down as he said it, but sincere nonetheless.

Joshua looked from Neku to the phone, then back to the boy. He answered with a brief, grateful kiss, then picked up the phone again. "Sanae." he spoke commandingly. "Just give me an hour, or so, okay?"

He could practically hear his producer fuming down the phone. "An hour at MOST." came the curt reply.

"Oh, come Sanae… have I ever let you down?" he giggled, and hung up the phone before Mr.H could provide any answers to the contrary.

"As for you…" He wrapped his arms around Neku's waist and giggled again. "Where'd you get do selfless, hmm?"

Neku looked away "I think you know…"

"Ah…" said Joshua. "I suppose so." he let Neku go and held out his hand with a flourish. "Where to now, my love?"

Neku slapped the hand away and raised his eyes up to Joshua, his face bright red. "Do you go out of your way to say things that embarrass me? Or do you just have a natural gift for it?"Joshua giggled. "Hh-hmm. I say what I mean. You simply embarrass easily." he smirked. It was the understatement of the century, so Neku couldn't really disagree. Not that he had time to, as Joshua headed back to his previous enquiry. "So, back to Sunshine? Or I think a lot of the stores in Shibu department store are still open if you changed your mind about wanting anything…"

"Joshua." Neku sighed. "I've told you, in ALL the shops we've been to… I don't want you buying me anything! Especially not clothes and other crap I don't need. I don't want you to be that kind of…" he trailed off, biting his lip again.

"That kind of?"

"…Screw you." Neku turned even redder, and apparently decided the best action would be to revert back to the subject in hand. "There… there is somewhere… One more place."

"Hmm?" enquired Joshua, too intrigued by Neku having a strong desire to do anything than to coax his previous words from him.

"Come on." Neku replied, holding out his hand a little more subtly than the other teen had. Joshua took it and slipped his fingers into the spaces between Neku's.

"Always the gentleman, Nekky." Joshua winked, and Neku smiled back.

They walked almost to the other side of Shibuya, when Neku stopped at Miyashita Park, on the busy footbridge to Cat Street. Although it was late, there were still plenty of cars zooming beneath them.

"Here?" Joshua questioned as the other boy halted "Any particular significance?"

Neku shrugged. "Maybe."

Josh went over to the side and took a glance down. "Not the romantic view I'd expected, I have to say."

Neku was still acting nonchalantly. "I… I don't know why I wanted to come here" he lied. It felt like showing a friend a favourite movie and then having to justify why it was good. He stood next to Joshua at the side, and looked over.

"If you say so." Joshua nodded, but his tone and smirk indicated he was far from accepting Neku's words.

"I really can't do this whole… romance thing." he sighed "The… the words I mean!" he added hastily, in case Joshua thought this was some convoluted way of ending things with him.

Joshua looked at Neku, and Neku wondered if he was finally aware of how hard the boy found it sometimes to express how he really felt. Then he smiled, and shifted so that he was behind the redhead, his arms around him and his head on his shoulder.

"Just tell me why this is important to you, Neku." he purred into his ear "I can do the rest…" the last part was said semi-seductively, and Neku relaxed into Joshua's touch.

"For some reason…" he began awkwardly "This place always reminds me of you, Josh."

"Hmm?" Joshua enquired. Neku felt the other male's head move slightly on his shoulder, clearly searching the scene for a trace of himself.

"Don't worry, it doesn't look like you or anything…" he smiled. "It's more of a thoughts… or a memories… sort of thing…" he pulled his collar to his face to try and obscure it somewhat, which wasn't easy in his current shirt, it not having been designed for the purpose.

Joshua reached for his hand and pulled it back down to the rail, leaving his own hand resting on top of it.

Neku felt a tickle as Joshua spoke into his ear. "You don't have to tell me. But I'm sure I'll make it worth your while… Hh-hmm" the giggle in his ear sent shivers down his spine. Josh had far too much power over him sometimes.

"It's… a few things…" Neku tried to explain. "It never used to mean anything, this bridge, even though I walked over it every day on my way back from school…" he trailed off, pausing for a while. "We… during the game we walked back this way from Mr.H's. And he had told me to trust you, and I trusted him, so… when we were walking across this bridge together, and you looked up at me from your tracker… and you smiled… I remember thinking that maybe you weren't so bad." he turned his face to Joshua and smiled, glad the words had, to some degree, sounded as he had intended them.

Joshua raised his eyebrow. "Ahh, the Neku Sakuraba version of a compliment." he let the brow drop and smirked. "I'll take it." He moved his arms from above Neku's and mover them so they wrapped around Neku's waist and came to rest on the railing.

Neku felt himself turning red from the closer contact. He could feel every exhale Joshua made on the back of his neck, the deep, fast breaths he took indicating that the change in position had affected him too.

Joshua didn't have to look to know that Neku was blushing. His body had stiffened in an odd sort of awkwardness, though he was clearly trying very hard to breathe normally. Joshua lifted up one side of the orange hair and began kissing along his neck.

Neku let out an involuntary "Mmm" sound, then jumped a little "Thereisanotherreason!" he blurted out.

Joshua smirked. "Too much for you dear?" he whispered, his own body heating from Neku's moan.

"I mean- uh, I- the bridge, there's another reason why I wanted to come here… um…"

"Go on" he breathed into the flustered boy's ear.

The redhead squirmed, apparently having trouble concentrating. "The… the view…" he stammered, trying to wriggle out of Joshua's grasp, to no avail.

The view? Why was Neku so enamoured with this place? Joshua searched the skyline. There were no trees or lakes, or any remote areas of natural beauty. There were just buildings, the same ones that could be seen anywhere in Shibuya, the malls and apartments and hotels all blending together into one swirling mass of lights against dark… wait… that was it. From up here the city wasn't close enough to seem garish or crowded or overly noisy like it was when you were in it. It really was beautiful. And he had never even noticed it, far too busy rueing the parts of his creation that its shallow inhabitants had destroyed.

"Oh, Neku." Joshua rested his head on the other's shoulder again. "You're right. It is beautiful."

Neku relaxed, leaning his own head against Josh's. "I never saw it, until a couple of days after the game… I walked across like I always hand, and suddenly it was speaking to me. So many individuals leading their lives, not always intersecting… but they're all important, as they work towards their goals… all forming one city… I never noticed until that point. And that's why it makes me think of you. You taught me to see it, even if you didn't see it yourself."

Joshua nodded, and kissed Neku on the cheek.

"Your level of imagination…" he held him tightly, wrapping his arms directly around the other's waist. "You'd be one hell of a Composer… perhaps I should be worried…" he went back to kissing his neck softly.

Neku hesitated before speaking. "And kill you?"

"I probably deserve it."

Neku turned his head to the side, grabbed Joshua's face and kissed him. "Nah." he smiled. "I'll leave that stuff to you. Though I'd settle for being your conductor…"

Joshua giggled. "So you're saying you'd like to be underneath me?"

Neku turned red again, cursing himself for saying something Josh could so easily derive innuendo from. "You have a one track mind." he said, then tried to imitate the other's usual smirk. "And yes."

Joshua's eyes on him after he had spoken the words made his skin prickle with excitement, and he had to look away again, which unfortunately meant Joshua was free to whisper in his ear once more.

"So… dirty…" he breathed, and the tingling feeling in Neku's body began to run down through his stomach and crotch. His blood definitely started rushing somewhere other than his face as his lover brought his hand up inside the front of his shirt and scratched his nails down the redhead's chest, simultaneously giving a slight moan against his neck, and kissing it some more.

"Josh this is a public pl- uhhh"

Joshua was panting at his ear now "How hard are you, Neku?" he whispered smugly.

"Sh- shut up…" Neku hissed, staring intently at the view over the bridge and ignoring the ministrations of Joshua's hands.

"Make me" teased the silver-haired male, nipping softly at his neck.

Neku turned to Josh, intending to kiss him ferociously, but was halted by the involuntary urge to throw his head back and moan as Joshua pushed a hand down the front of his pants. He bit his lip and tried to compose himself, but it was impossible to ignore. "Josh- J- mmm- stop…" Joshua had now slid his hand further into the boy's underwear, grinding his crotch against Neku's ass. "In- public… we- can't…"

"No-one's around…" Joshua purred, and imitated a pouting voice. "Don't you _want to come for me, Neku?"_

_Neku actually thought he might die as Joshua began pumping his cock, his breath still hot on his neck, the other hand at his waist. The feeling of Josh's erection against his backside, even through their clothing, was further sexual torture. Apparently the boy noticed Neku's response to the friction, and took the chance to take the hand from Neku's waist and, after unzipping his fly to allow more space, slip it down the back of his pants, squeezing the left cheek firmly. Joshua's breath hitched and his body pushed itself closer at the touch. He reached to the boy's perineum, making his body tingle all the more, and ran it along his asshole, still pumping furiously with his right hand._

"_Are you going to practice for me, Neku?" he whispered, rubbing softly to indicate his meaning, and the boy nodded meekly, his face sweating, trying not to think about someone spotting them._

"_Good boy…" came the reply "…then again… you're actually very, very bad, aren't you?"_

_Neku closed his eyes and tried to avoid feeling Joshua's touch, but it was no use. Each pump of his had, along with the other exploring his ass, was bringing him closer and closer. As the waves of arousal washed up his body, he bit his lip to stifle his moan, this taking so much concentration that Joshua had to pull his hand from the back of his underwear to clasp one of his hands and keep him stable. Neku's other hand grabbed at the railing, the pleasure flowing over him as he spurted into Joshua's hand. As it ended he found the strength to turn and kiss Joshua softly, most of his energy depleted but his body still tingling with euphoria. Joshua wiped his hand inside Neku's underwear and pulled it out, turning the boy to face him, and continuing the kiss. Neku brought his arms around Josh's neck a little shakily. Joshua's warm body, his arms wrapped around him, made him stop caring about the rest of the world. He could feel that Joshua was still hard. He looked down "Doesn't that drive you crazy?"_

_Joshua grinned at him "I want to fuck you whenever I see you anyway…" Neku's body gave a weak shiver, and Joshua kissed him once more. He then held him close. "I… I should leave now…" he said sadly._

_Neku nodded, "I'll miss you."_

"_I'll miss you too. But I promise, I'll wrap this up as soon as I can."_

_Neku nodded again. "More than a month, and you'll let me know, right?"_

_Joshua nodded back. "I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

_They kissed once more, and Joshua stepped away, closing his eyes to focus. He began to glow, increasing from a pale luminescence to a blinding white. Neku had always got pissed and walked away too soon to watch Joshua leave. This time he stared, and saw Joshua growing taller and a few years older, wings beginning to grow from his back. Opening his violet eyes to look at Neku one last time, he tuned upwards to the UG, fading until Neku couldn't see him anymore. The boy smiled very slightly, then sighed, letting go of the railing and taking a deep breath in to wake his body up for the walk home._

_As he got to the end of the bridge, he felt soft feathers against his shoulders, and a gently kiss on his lips. Then, with a breeze of wind, the sensation was gone again._

"_Goodbye, Joshua." whispered Neku._


	6. Chapter 6

Last one! Enjoy... I'm sorry it took so long to type up! x

* * *

Neku rushed into the empty café, leaning against his knees as he came to a stop.

"What's up, Mr.H?" he panted at the man calmly pouring milk into two cappuccinos.

The café owner scratched the back of his neck, looking a bit puzzled "You ok, Phones?"

Neku stood properly and crossed his arms. "Mr. H, you sent me a message to come here A.S.A.P."

"True" Hanekoma replied. "You were pretty quick though."

_Perhaps he's used to Joshua's definition of ASAP _thought Neku. His mind then turned to longing images of the composer and his violet eyes, then shook the guy out of his head and got back to the point in hand. "Never mind. Why'd you text me?"

Hanekoma grimaced a little, handing Neku a coffee without requesting payment, which was never a good sign. "It's Josh." he said. "He uh… he says he's going to be a bit longer than he said. Sorry Phones."

"Wh- what?…" Neku stuttered, unable to hide his disappointment. "But… he said… you mean he already knows he'll be longer than a month? He's only been gone a week and a half!"

"I'm sorry." Hanekoma repeated.

"I don't believe this." Neku fumed. What sort of situation would mean Joshua already knew he'd be more than two and a half weeks more? And if so, why couldn't he just materialise and tell Neku directly, instead of going through Mr. Hanekoma like it was some sort of business transaction? "Why?" Neku asked defiantly.

"I uh…" he scratched the back of his head again. "That's kinda classified, Phones. Something just came up."

Neku sighed. He couldn't help feel suspicious about this.

"He…" Neku sighed, and swallowed his anger. "When WILL he be back then?"

Hanekoma shrugged sadly. "If you want, I can encode your phone to call him in the UG. But you know…" he winked. "Keep it between us, huh?"

Neku looked up at Mr. H and nodded, passing him his phone, but still fuming on the inside.

"It'll take about a half hour" Hanekoma warned. "Want something to eat?"

Neku could see he was trying to be helpful, but it was no use. "Nah that's… that's ok. I'll get it off you tomorrow. If anyone calls, tell them… I want to be alone right now."

Hanekoma nodded, and smiled "Don't worry Phones, I'm sure your day will pick up."

"Thanks" Neku said disheartedly, taking his coffee and leaving, still pretty pissed off as he headed home. What could be so important that it took so long to sort it? Was this the same reason Mr.H had called Joshua the last time they were together? Could it be some major catastrophe, the UG's peace broken again? But then, why was Mr. H sitting in his café instead of helping Joshua take care of it? Was it just the game? It would've then had to be multiple weeks, like Neku's time there, which would mean something major. Or what… oh god, what if Joshua was dead? Erased by a high-aspiring reaper? What if Joshua was gone forever and Mr. H hadn't the heart to tell him? But then… to let him think he was being abandoned wasn't exactly how he'd expect Mr. H to go about it.

Neku's paranoid thoughts were all possibilities, but there was one that couldn't help but resonate in his mind. What if Joshua _had _abandoned him? He had never fully recovered from each time Josh had betrayed his trust, what if this was just another convoluted lie? If Josh was sick of him already, and told Mr.H to find a way to let him down gently?

_FUUUUUUCK! _Why couldn't thinks just go back to how they were? His feelings for Joshua hadn't bothered him when they were under the surface, before he was aware of them. If no-one had told him, if they'd stayed unconscious until they eventually went away, he would've been perfectly fine. He found his feet stopping, and crowds pushing past him, dizzying. He stood there, lukewarm coffee in his hand, and stared into the distance.

People started staring at his haunted look after a while, and he continued walking. He was only minutes from his house now, and the closer he got, the harder it got to keep the emotions from overpowering him. It was late. It was just too bloody late. He had fallen for Joshua, totally and utterly fallen in love with him, and now, whatever callous steps the composer took, Neku was tied to him. However angry he got, he couldn't repress the affection, the desire, the sheer… adoration he felt when Joshua was close to him. He was like any other of the billions of romantic saps out there, dwindling on whether this reinforcement was positive or negative.

Neku shook his head as he neared his front door. He was getting into way too much fuss about this. He cursed himself for even thinking so much about it as he opened the door and began to climb the stairs. No… why was he blaming himself? It was Joshua who'd left him here without so much as an explanation of why he couldn't see him.

He shut the door, dropped the barely touched coffee onto the bedside table and flopped face down onto his bed.

"Fucking JERK." he yelled into his pillow.

He heard a click, and turned his head. What he saw almost made him jump out of his skin.

"Joshua?" his voice was a mixture of shock and anger. "What… what're you…?"

"Surprise..." smiled the silver-haired boy, his hand still on the lock he had turned as he stood by the door.

Neku blinked and eyed him warily, watching as he took a few steps closer. The way Joshua was staring at his body made him glance down. He noticed the way he was laying, on his front with his back arched to turn his head, and hastily scrambled into a sitting position, bringing his knees to his chest cautiously.

"Hello dear." Joshua greeted, taking another step closer, his hands in his pockets.

The words made Neku's blood boil, and in a fluid motion, he pulled the lid off of the cup by his bed, and chucked the cold coffee straight at the other boy.

"Bastard!" he yelled "I thought… you said…"

Joshua gave a couple of slow blinks to avoid the coffee droplets rolling off of his hair, but he continued to smile slyly at the teen on the bed, looking him straight in the eye.

He winked. "I may have sent you an… overestimation…"

Neku was still enraged. "Overesti-? You… you…!"

Joshua took another tentative move towards his lover.

"No, NO." Neku warned, grabbing a bottle of water from his side. "One more step and I'm fucking soaking you."

The standing boy smiled. "Well, at least it'll get the coffee off." They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity. Then, Joshua gave in and made a lunge for Neku on the bed, and the other boy responded by jolting the bottle in his hand forward several times so that streams of water hit Joshua in the face, until he was close enough to grab Neku's wrists and hold them up against the headboard, the grip sending the last of the water trickling from the bottle in Neku's hand to semi-drench them both. The redhead dropped the bottle defeatedly as Joshua moved his legs to straddle the boy fully, and shook his wet hair from his eyes, sending droplets of water flying off of him. He manoeuvred Neku's wrists together so that he could hold onto them both with one hand, using a finger of the other to tilt his chin up.

"Aren't you pleased to see me?"

Neku sulked. "I… that's not the point… let go of me!

"No." Joshua replied, using the free hand to force the boy to meet his gaze.

Neku's resolve weakened a little as the deep violet-blue eyes stared into his. He'd thought of those eyes, haunting his dreams, comforting him when he was lonely, and staring lustfully at… certain other times. He wanted to look back with hate and only hate, but those eyes were so full with love and command that the effect was like a sedative.

_'Trust me._' they said _'Love me.'_

Joshua nudged his nose against Neku's, and kissed him softly, his tongue gently exploring the boy's mouth, as if coaxing the forgiveness out of him.

"I hate you." Neku breathed when Joshua's mouth left his, and turned his head away.

"No." replied the silver-haired boy. "You really don't."

"Okay, I… I don't… I… I love you…" he gritted his teeth "But I am mad at you!"

Joshua shrugged, and let Neku's wrists go, still straddling his waist.

"I'd apologise but… oh, you're just soooo cute when you're mad…" Joshua picked up a lock of the wet orange hair between his fingers.

"I'm not CUTE" He pushed at Joshua's chest. "Get offa me!" he flailed a little but couldn't deny that after nearly two weeks, having Joshua on top of him encouraged entirely different thoughts to form in his mind.

"Oh…" Joshua smirked "Oh, no, Neku, you see, I have something entirely different in mind…" he tugged at Neku's wet shirt.

Neku crossed his arms to avoid the pulling "You're so damn patronising sometimes, I hate it."

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I'm-" Neku's hands flew up to his face "No I'm not!"

"Worth a try." he rubbed Neku's cheek with his own and kissed it. "I love you…" he whispered, swirling his tongue in the other's ear, much to the wriggling Neku's dismay.

"Don't… Stop it…"

"Mmm, ok, I won't stop…"

"That's not what I… d-dammit Josh…" he stuttered, the kisses across his chin and neck weakening him, the hand suddenly running up his thigh making it hard to stifle a gasp. He couldn't help notice that Josh looked even sexier when soaking wet and lusty-eyed. He tried to think unsexy thoughts, and to remind himself how mad he was, but it seemed nothing could deter the rapid blood flow to his crotch.

"Mmm… I like it when you say my name…"

"Are you even listening to me?"

Joshua placed both hands on the sides of Neku's face and kissed him passionately. He then gave him an intense stare and Neku could see just how desperately aroused he looked "I can't control myself around you…" he ran his hands up and down Neku's body under his shirt "I just… I want you so BAD…I need you…" the desperation in Josh's tone couldn't help but further turn him on. "Please… I love you, Neku…"

Neku grabbed the other boy by his shirt, and kissed him frustratedly, forcing all his anger against the other's lips, pushing hard with his tongue. When he let go, Joshua smiled and pulled Neku's shirt over his head, starting to kiss down his chest, rolling the nipples in his fingers and every so often giving the flesh a long, hard lick.

"Ah…" Neku panted, unable to control his breathy tone. "I'm… uh… still mad at you…"

"Let's fuck." Joshua demanded, pulling at the boy's trousers. The way he said it made Neku shiver, and he feverishly started to undo Joshua's buttons, throwing off his shirt and zipping down his fly. Both males gasped as their warm naked bodies came into contact, a sensory juxtaposition with the cold droplets still falling off their hair and onto their shoulders. Joshua shifted his body to get Neku's underwear off fully, and spread his legs, bending them up at the knees and kneeling in between, puching so their erections pushed hard against each other, the warm friction making them both moan.

"Have you been practising?" Joshua purred tantalisingly, and Neku, still moaning from Josh rubbing against him, nodded.

"Good… It might hurt-" he bit Neku's neck hard and listened to the boy let out a pleasured yell "-but I know by now that you like that…"

Neku blinked weakly, finding it hard to concentrate on words right now, and pulled a tube of lubricant from under his pillow. He most definitely had 'practised' as Joshua put it, and he hoped he was ready. He had the awful feeling Joshua wouldn't stop for anything once he had started.

"Hmm…" Josh reached towards the tube "You _are_ well prepar- uh!" he groaned as Neku, who had intercepted his hand, reached out to slather the lube onto his cock, gripping quite hard as he did so. "Mmmm- uh- mmmm… Neku, that's enough…" he took the tube off of him, and squeezed some onto his fingers, running one over Neku's entrance teasingly. He slipped one finger into the entrance, which left Neku panting, squirming for more. As he slipped in the second Neku couldn't help but give a loud moan. Joshua's fingers inside him just made him anxious, and horny, he needed to be fucked, he needed it now, he didn't care if it hurt.

"Uh- Josh… I… I can't take it anymore… just… get inside me…" Joshua apparently gave in to this and abandoned his preparation, his lusting body overruling his compassion or logic right now.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes… yes… pl-please!" he placed his hands on Josh's shoulders, willing his body closer.

Joshua pulled Neku forward a little to tilt his hips upwards. He rubbed his cock against Neku's entrance tantalisingly, and brought his hands down to spread him further.

"Ready?" Joshua asked tentatively.

_This is it…_ thought Neku, nodding in response.

Joshua's cock slid in relatively easily from all the lube… but Neku cried out as overwhelming pain split through him with Joshua's first thrust. "AHHHH" he cried, squeezing his eyes shut "Ahhh…. oww!"

"You ok?" Joshua had stopped moving, leaving his cock buried inside Neku and not thrusting, but he burning pain was still there.

"N-no!" Neku yelled, a few tears spilling from his closed eyes "I- I'm sorry… I… can't-"

"Neku." Joshua said concernedly, his face seemingly inches away.

"I- I _can't_!"

He felt Joshua push back the fringe plastered to his forehead. "LOOK at me." he repeated.

Neku opened his eyes hazily and found Joshua's. With one hand still holding his hair back, he used the other to clasp Neku's

"It'll be ok…" Joshua soothed, clasping the other boy's hand tightly, and, by some force, the composer was spilling a little of his power through his eyes, the white-hot pain turning only to a dull ache.

"Th- thank you." he breathed, his body finally relaxing, able to feel the warmth of Joshua inside him, the closeness of his body, the breathing against his neck. He looked up at Joshua, willing him to continue, and so his lover trusted again, this time the pain at a bearable level. There was something satiating about them, each thrust filling him hotly.

They got into a steady, contented rhythm, until Joshua thrust upwards a little and made his body swim with pleasure.

"F-fuck!" he cried out. "Right there… felt so… don't stop…"

Joshua obliged, thrusting into the spot more and more, the pleasure building as the tempo increased.

"Neku…" Joshua moaned "You're so tight…"

His tone spurred Neku on all the more, causing him to pull the other boy by the shoulders, bringing him closer and deeper, his ankles above Josh's head. Joshua gripped his thighs to keep him there "So… fucking… good…"

Neku nodded, his eyes half-closing, as his had dick rubbed hard against Josh's stomach and chest as the boy leaned over him, threatening to send him over the edge. The friction, and Joshua deep inside him hitting the spot that had never been hit before, combined to make his body feel like it was aflame. He felt his moans getting louder and more high-pitched, yet he couldn't stop them from slipping out as if disconnected from him, the fact that Joshua was loudly groaning every time he entered him only increasing his need.

"I- uh- I" he could feel himself clenching as the pleasure overtook him, causing a very strong reaction from his partner.

"Oh, fuck, NEKU!" Joshua moaned, his body seeming to shudder as Neku felt the other male's hot seed spill into him, sending his head spinning. Joshua kept thrusting as his body spasmed; his thrusts were slowing, but Neku was already past the point of no return, the feeling sending his head spinning as his own cum squirted up between their bodies. Joshua, still slowing, brought Neku's legs back down and pulled out slowly from his body, some of the warm white liquid dripping out. Neku pulled Joshua down to lie on top of him and kissed him softly in the haze of sweat and skin.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They held each other tightly, feeling even closer, even more unified, than they had before. They kissed a few times more, then rolled over so they were snuggled beside each other.

"I'm still mad…" Neku breathed, the words now lacking in any real conviction.

Joshua reached to rub his cheek. "Worked out kind of well, though, didn't it?" he paused. "If it means that much to you, though, I'm sorry."

Neku smiled "Forgiven. But if you ever lie to me again I swear to god I'm developing a form of torture involving rope and… some kind of whipping implement."

"Oh…" Joshua winked. "Now why would you encourage me like that?"

"And I get to- to top." He looked away as his cheeks flushed at the thought.

Joshua smirked. "Maybe when you're older, dear."

As the giggle he had gone from hating to knowing and loving rang out in Neku's ears, he couldn't help the wide grin that was spreading across his face.

_I never would have thought it _he mused to himself _Yoshiya Kiryu. The pact without permission. The false sacrifice. The composer of the city I've always belonged to._

_And the love of my fucking life._

**The End.**

* * *

...Well... I hope you liked it! Sadly that's all for this story, but never fear, I'll keep on writing JxN stuff, though I'm thinking of focusing more on one-shots. Plus, I have a lot of other pairings I like to cover. ;) All your comments and faves have been a great motivator for me, I would never have finished it if it wasn't for you guys! I love you all!


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